So here we are again..my head hurts it's a spinnin' I'm with someone because I'm lonely or do I really like this guy? yeah he makes me happy but I don't feel the same way as I did once with someone else, I never got the chance to be with ..opportunities were there but my anxiety and nerves got the best of me people were in the way.. now that things are dying out I have my chance..but I don't I'm engaged is it meant to be? or is it just a memory?
I'm tired of making mistakes and getting hurt with this guy I don't get hurt but the other one hurt me once, actually they both hurt me..so I don't know what to think anymore no one wants to hear my guy problems it's not just about the guy thoughts in my head it's the thoughts of the mistakes, the fear the choices I could be making..the fear of losing someone who might be worth it then the other it's so hard for me to be with one person and thinking about the other we will all just get hurt if I make the wrong choices I don't know what to say or do I am confused they both give me the benefit of the doubt they both treat me right except the one thing they both did..I'm tired of trying to chose and hurting the people I do care about them both but one means more to me then the other I'm confused on my feelings am I being manipulated again? am I wrong or right?
what do I do? my heart tells me one my brain tells me another..I am so confused...all I want is help before I jump a bridge into hell I know I'll be going I'm lying for my safety god hates me the goddess is probably tired of me complaining no one wants me not a soul the humans do only two but which one should I be with? I don't know what to do can I be happy for once? can I move on from the heart? I need to be with the right guy..I just don't know how to handle this...can I die? can I please be in peace? and not have to worry who I should be with? be worried that anyone cares? I just wanna be a soul free from pain.
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